After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
