So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
