Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
