when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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