chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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