Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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