Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
