its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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