What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize