Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just want to make out with him forever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
