My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
