I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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