Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
