We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
