Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
