May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the day after is always just damage control
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
