Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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