i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
