you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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