remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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