He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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