Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
