So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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