I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I skipped work to stalk him.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
