You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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