We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
