my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we should paint friendship bongs
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