Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
