Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
