Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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