Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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