Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
