Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
