When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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