just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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