Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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