You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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