I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
