No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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