Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We need to get me chipped asap
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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