so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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