She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
