he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
