Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
