Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize