You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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