Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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