DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
