Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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