doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
