kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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