so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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