It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
