Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am one with the molecules
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
