I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
