Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
