Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
