Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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