I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
