sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
