I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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