Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So vagazzling was a success
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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