Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
