No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
