i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
