Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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